Clean Heart, Clean Mind

Do you ever get to a point of anger or frustration that you just decide to go  on a cleaning spree of your dorm room, home, apartment or whatever kind of building you live in? Well, I do, and I think it is a pretty normal reaction to stress.

In the fall of last year, I had one of such of such moments. I was angry because I was trying to grow in my faith but I felt stuck. So to be clear, it was a good kind of anger and out of that anger, I decided to clean out my heart and my mind, as against my dorm room. It was also the perfect response to my anger because I had an inclination that the clutter in my heart and mind was what was really holding me back and so I needed to declutter my heart and mind if I was to move further.

So there I was, all charged up and ready to clean but I was stuck (again). No cleaning was happening. I was failing at my mission. and I was not moving forward. I knew there were ideas, people and relationships that I needed to let go of but it just was not happening. And then, one evening in mid September, about a month after deciding to clean up, I was super tired after classes and decided to take an evening nap. You know that point where you are asleep but not quite asleep, and awake but not quite awake? I was right there when I heard a voice say to me “We cannot grow until we cleave and we cannot clean until we clear.” After that I was definitely awake.

I began to think about what I had just heard; I was certain that God was speaking to me and now I just needed to think on what I had heard. After receiving that word, there was a quiet piece that flooded my soul because I now had confirmation that God was interested in me cleaning my heart and my mind. And not only was He interested, He was well aware that I was stuck and needed some wisdom on how to move forward.

____

This post ended up being super long so I split it in two, the next post will be the continuation.

With love!
Smithia
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